Gary Conkling Life Notes

Mostly whimsical reflections on life

The Naked Truth

Let’s see if I have this right. You agreed to appear on a TV show titled Dating Naked. Now you are suing the show’s producers for showing you on screen dating naked?

screen-shot-2014-08-21-at-4-39-36-pmJessie Nizewitz is suing Viacom for $10 million because the producers of Dating Naked failed to blur portions of her down under on her first date, which involved something akin to wrestling. Nizewitz said she only signed up for a “naked-ish” date.

The “show” hasn’t worked out well for Jessie, 28, who is a model. She didn’t land a boyfriend on the show and apparently lost the one she had before stripping down for a naked, though not blind date.  Her grandmother won’t talk to her and her parents are “annoyed.”

Memo to Ms. Nizewitz: The non-verbnal communication and annoyance from your family members has less to do with you dating naked than you being stupid. Filing a dumb lawsuit exposes your stupidity because it attracted attention to a show most people never heard of and probably never would watch. Your grandmother and parents are embarrassed because they are related to a nincompoop.

The naked truth is that stupidity appears to be part of our national DNA.

McDonnellsTake for example, the McDonnells of Virginia. Bob, the former governor, and his wife, Maureen, hung out on airplanes, New York hot spots and the Virginia governor’s mansion with a generous guy trying to hawk dietary supplements. The next thing the McDonnells knew, they were indicted for public corruption.

Okay, so their kids received expensive golf club sets, which they refused to return. The former First Lady of Virginia (FLOVA, for short) wanted an expensive designer gown, which the supplement guy bought. The couple wanted to capitalize on the housing bust and needed a loan to pick up some properties on the cheap and the supplement guy forked over cash. The ex-guv wanted to attend some fundraisers and the supplement guy furnished a private jet. Just the normal stuff governors and first ladies do in between press conferences, staff meetings and wienie roasts with legislators.

At the McDonnells’ public corruption trial, the former governor, who still swallows his daily  anti-inflammatory supplements, took the high road and blamed his wife. Former staffers recalled in testimony rants by the ex-FLOVA and flirtatious behavior with the supplement guy. The wife attributed the whole mess to a crumbling marriage, caused in part by her hubby’s constant absence to solve the housing crisis and raise money for other Republican governors around the country. The supplement guy pleaded guilty. At least, McDonnell didn’t say he was walking the Appalachian Trail. No one would have believed that either.

Nizewitz and the McDonnells evoke little sympathy, just huge, collective eye rolls. We say, “How stupid can you be?” even though we know the answer, “Pretty stupid.”

Jessie Nizewitz showed just how stupid by taking off her clothes for a a televised date, then suing because she appeared naked on TV on a date. Even if the lawsuit is a naked publicity stunt, it is pretty stupid.

Coffee shops now warn on their paper cups that the contents are hot and can burn if spilled on your lap. Maybe TV shows featuring naked people on dates should warn actors that other people will see them naked on dates, assuming anyone watches shows like this.

And maybe all the publicity will spawn a TV knock-off game show called, “The Dumbest: Beyond Dumb and Dumber.” It appears as if there would be no shortage of contestants.



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