Gary Conkling Life Notes

Mostly whimsical reflections on life

Life in a Shower Stall

pee-webreadyEfficiency is overrated or at the very least often miscalculated. Take the example of the British scholars who urged people to pee while taking a shower.

Or George Costanza who was caught peeing in the shower at his gym.

Peeing in the shower in the morning, these British students say, will save time and a toilet flush. It is an economic and environmental boon, with no extra mess to clean up. The students are not taking this standing up and have launched a #GoWithTheFlow campaign.

Coed peeing in the shower opens up a whole new avenue of controversy over mutual consent of “no” and “yes.” Chris Dobson says his girlfriend, Debs Torr, is a consenting “wee’r.”

Phobic reactions to urine augur against this efficient way to speed through morning chores. Companies that specialize in toilet cleaning products may see light at the end of the drain with a brand new category of cleansers aimed at shower floors and drains.

#GoWithTheFlow has an unmistakable echo of a life experiment by Kramer in a 1997 episode of Seinfeld. In “The Apology,” Kramer decides he likes showers so much, he decides to move in to the stall. He buys a waterproof phone, prepares dinner and installs a garbage disposal in the shower drain. Sound familiar?

EdibleShower-480x340The bit reaches its crescendo when Elaine drags a germophobic coworker to dinner at Kramer’s. Elaine already has rubbed her coworker’s stapler under her armpit and coughed on computer keyboard. But when Kramer reveals he cooked the meal in his shower, everyone, including Elaine, gags.

That’s what I imagine would happen if #GoWithTheFlow got any traction. After the experience, a lot of people would sign up for Germophones Anonymous.

It’s worth remembering that another subplot of the Seinfeld episode was Jerry’s fluttering relationship with a woman who liked nonsexual nudity. After seeing his girlfriend in the nude wandering around in the kitchen or playing board games, Seinfeld begins to find her unattractive. Trying to salvage the relationship, he tries casual nudity himself. It doesn’t work.

Elaine sums up the problem by explaining women’s bodies are art, while men’s bodies are just for utility.

Leave it to Elaine to break the code. Shower stalls are for bathing, not living, regardless of how much time or water you save or how many germs you rinse off.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: