Gary Conkling Life Notes

Mostly whimsical reflections on life

Happy Crap You Can’t Actually Buy

SkyMaul2Brick and mortar retailers try everything to lure customers into their stores. Sky Mall retailers have a captive audience on airplanes that are looking for something to divert their attention from turbulence, fear of flying or the guy next him who can’t stop coughing.

Thumbing through a SkyMall brochure informs you about all the household, wardrobe and yard accessories you don’t have, but probably should own – or not. For frequent flyers, even the vast array of must-have products shrinks in its appeal by repetitive viewing – or because they already bought something just like it on a previous trip.

That has led a group of comedians to launch SkyMaul, “happy crap you can buy on a plane,” and now SkyMaul 2, “where America buys his stuff.” These guys take the idiosyncratic to the idiotic edge, all with more than a whiff of good humor.

personality_custom-bc243c7f1cadc887fc8e1ae5f42b61ec4f3ed595-s4-c85The 128-page SkyMaul 2 booklet features the Forever Diaper, Hot Dog Clock and Condo Pony. It also offers the Personality Alert Bracelet that tips you off about a pending boyfriend or boss.

Of course, SkyMaul and its sequel are parodies, though you hope someone is actually working on that Personality Alert Bracelet. Others, not so much – Ship-In-A-Bottle Removal Tool, Drug-Sniffing Dog Sniffing Dog, Lawnmower Breathalyzer and Catbox Viewing Dome.

Authors Robert Baedeker, Dan Klein and John Reichmuth probably had a great time dreaming up the absurd ideas for this fake catalog, such as the ever useful Bullet-Allowing Vest and Wearable Coatrack.

The original and its sequel have earned a ton of fans who compare the quality of satire in SkyMaul to The Onion and The Colbert Report, which is pretty heady company for guys doing a parody of an airplane shopping brochure.

Baedeker and Reichmuth yucked it up on NPR’s All Things Considered. “Designer pets are all the rage these days,” Baedeker said. “Ours is called the Condo Pony. It’s a little horse that just kind of clomps around the condo. Condo doesn’t have to mean no pony no more.”

“One of the things we’re most excited about right now for new parents – and we worked with a Russian scientist here, using blimp technology, is what we call the Forever Diaper,” deadpanned Reichmuth. “And that’s a disappear that you put on at birth and it technically can stay on until early adolescence. We like to say, lets take the diapers off the table.”

Offering to ISISAs funny as the parody is, there is still a lot to chuckle at in the original SkyMall. Like a blanket with armholes, skateboard with a sail or self-cleaning cat litter box.

Or like the $45 “Offering to ISIS” sculpture. You might want to wait and order that after you deplane.

With crazy stuff like this, you could save the $18.10 price on Amazon to purchase SkyMaul 2. But why limit the fun. Where else can you find happy crap that you want, but can’t buy?







Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: