Gary Conkling Life Notes

Mostly whimsical reflections on life

Donald J. Rickles for President

Donald Trump is the Don Rickles of politics. Instead of laughs, Trump gets applause for his insults. And maybe delegate votes in South Carolina.

Rickles and TrumpThe Palmetto state is known for brass knuckles politics and Trump came with his best brass. Trump has insulted nearly every member of the Bush Family. He called Ted Cruz a habitual liar and threatened to sue him.  Trump bashed the Pope after he criticized building a wall to block immigrants and questioned their Christianity.

Rickles earned his reputation as an insult comic. Trump is earning his as an insult politician. Both do stand-up routines.

Rickles has been called the Sultan of Insult and Merchant of Venom. Trump is angling to be called the President of Insult and Merchant in the White House.

don-rickles-obama-joke-shirley-maclaine-afi-tributeRickles quipped, “President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.” Trump said Obama is one of the worst presidents in history.

Rickles fed his reputation appearing regularly on late-night TV talk shows. Trump feeds his by appearing on every TV talk show.

Rickles is a Democrat who made guest appearances at the inaugurations of Republican Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush. According to Cruz, Trump is a closet liberal who is making a guest appearance as a GOP presidential candidate.

Rickles’ best friend is the low-key, self-effacing Bob Newhart. Trump’s best friend is his reflection in the mirror.

Rickles views everyone as a loser. So does Trump, but he’s not joking.

TrumpRickles worried there would be somebody in his audience he didn’t offend. Trump doesn’t take chances and makes sure to offend everyone possible.

Rickles is a master of timing. Trump is a master of the airwaves.

Rickles’ middle name is Jay; Trump’s is John.

Rickles had a comb-over until he lost all his hair. Trump has taken the comb-over to new lengths – and colors.

Rickles rides a recumbent bike 30 minutes every day. Trump rides his political opponents all day, every day.

Rickles conquered Las Vegas. Trump hopes to conquer Nevada.

Mr. Potato HeadTrump says politicians are all talk and no action. Rickles was all talk, including the voice of Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story. Trump is the voice of his own action figure.

“If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS’s ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President because this would not have happened. ISIS would have been eradicated unlike what is happening now with our all talk, no action politicians.”

Trump rallies attract hecklers, which he has removed. Rickles relentlessly heckles his audience, which keeps coming for more.

Trump lives and dies for polling results showing him in the lead. Rickles was honored for his 60-year career as a comedian by what critics called part roast and part lifetime achievement award, after which Rickles needled everyone who spoke.

Reckless said he enjoyed insulting people, but he didn’t mean it. Trump enjoys insulting people and he really means it.

Rickles once said, “When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don’t mind, but he has it in his back pocket.” He was referring to Frank Sinatra, not Trump, but it still fits.







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