Gary Conkling Life Notes

Mostly whimsical reflections on life

The Unadventure Kid and the Most Interesting Man

No use parsing words. I’m ticked that I was overlooked once again in the Dos Equis selection of the Most Interesting Man in the World.

jonathan-goldsmithThe Mexican beer producer picked Augustin Legrand, a French actor. He is 30 years younger than Jonathan Goldsmith, the original Most Interesting Man who was jettisoned so Dos Equis could “contemporize” its popular ad campaign. Yeah, we know what that means.

Even more galling, Dos Equis bypassed me when it chose sportscaster Erin Andrews and actor Luis Guzman as the 5,008th and 8,507th most interesting people in the world, respectively. What am I? Chopped liver?

I recognize that it doesn’t help that my wife refers to me as the Unadventure Kid. So what if I don’t sky dive, drive race cars or play high-stakes poker. Or get invited to wild parties, wear StarTrek pajamas or drink beer? Adventure and bloating are overrated.

I admit Goldsmith appeared pretty interesting in those ads. Always on the move, surrounded by lovely ladies and basking in his glory. But even he admitted he didn’t always drink beer. Maybe he was too busy, like me, taking out the trash, whacking weeds in the backyard or looking for the book I misplaced months ago.

Goldsmith portrayed a man who knew what he was doing and did what he wanted. I love the Oregon Ducks, but I don’t go to home games because it is such a hassle to park. Instead I park on my family room couch and watch the game on TV, close to my refrigerator, toilet and punching bag for venting frustration when the Ducks don’t score 60 points per game.

It’s clear Dos Equis has an outreach problem. I never got the memo it was looking for a replacement for Goldsmith. I just assumed they sent Goldsmith to Mars so he could make an amazing round trip. That would have been interesting at his age.

Maybe language made the difference. The new guy is trilingual. But, hey, I took six years of Spanish in school. I know what cerveza means, amigo.

augustin_legrandI looked up Augustin Legrand online and, frankly, he doesn’t look all that interesting. He looks like he needs a haircut, or maybe a blood transfusion.

He certainly doesn’t look anything like Goldsmith. I look a little like Goldsmith, in a Santa Claus kind of way. That should count for something.

Now I suppose I will have to wait years before Dos Equis looks again for a Most Interesting Man candidate. I’m not sure I can wait. I’m not getting any younger – or more interesting.

To me the selection should be based on who IS the most interesting man in the world, not just who can act like the most interesting man in the world. If that was how the decision went down, I could understand why no one would have given me a call.
space-rangersBut DarkHorse Comics might want to ring me up as the model for a new superhero – the Unadventure Kid. It would be perfect for kids who wear bowls on their heads, eschew adventure by parking on a couch totally absorbed in video games – and still believe in Santa Claus. Who says that wouldn’t be interesting?

 

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